acting cool but checking out the booty like
- Kid: Yeah give me a pack of Marlboro Reds.
- Cashier: Are you 18?
- Kid: It's okay, they're a metaphor.
so my mum told me that as a kid she would peel an apple and throw the peel over her shoulder, and the peel would take the shape of the first letter of her future spouse. naturally, i decided to do it and
i’m fucking crying
it says ‘no.’
it literally says NO.
oh my god
Y’know people say shit about social media along the lines of ‘OMG no one cares what anyone had for breakfast’ and like.
I do? I care. I’m pretty sure a lot of people care. I want to hear that the people I care about are having delicious breakfasts or saw something odd at work or flirted with a cute barista. Or just any little thoughts they have that they feel are worth sharing.
I’ve always kind of assumed that’s how you’re supposed to feel about your friends.
Just found out there are two Bones in my shin, and two shins on my body. That’s four Bones. Fuck this shit
dude thats not even the worst of it. go look up what your ribs are made of
OK, i will, but I’m warning you if it’s bones I’m gonna be so pissed off